Crematorium
by CelestialSands
Summary: The People had declared war.  There is only one more nation to conquer before the surface is once more, theirs. However, the fabled lost nation of Amestris may prove be a tougher nut to crack…   AU, no pairings, possible deaths.
1. Chapter 1

**Crematorium**

**An Artemis Fowl and Fullmetal Alchemist crossover**

Plot summary and notes

The People had declared war.

There is only one more nation to conquer before the surface is once more, theirs. However, the fabled lost nation of Amestris may prove be a tougher nut to crack…

**A/N: I'm not really sure what inspired this. Ishval? I don't even know how my thoughts doubled back to fairies... So, anyway, you will need a pretty good understanding of the AF-verse to understand it, but hopefully, nothing more than the first book. FMA-verse... Meh. It will explain itself. I think. It helps if you had a basic understanding of the settings of both fandoms, but I assure you, there WILL be a measure of made up stuff. There will also be OCs, but my OCs tend to be minor charries, or villains. In this fic, my OCs are minor fairy officers. Cuz there just aren't enough in cannon. A dollar says that they'll be dead before the half-way mark of the fic. (The OCs, of course. I just can't bring myself to kill off the main charries)**

**At this point, I don't know about character deaths yet, but I predict a high possibility of Butler and Alphonse(or was it Winry?) biting it. It's unconfirmed though. Also, with shippings. I enjoy keeping my fics relatively ship-free. There will be very tiny hints but you probably won't see it without squinting over it at least twice.**

**As for OOCness, I hope to capture Artemis perfectly(though at some points, I may make him too Turnball. Tell me if that's the case). Ed may be a bit off. But I have intended that. Please, tell me what you think of the OOCness. **

**Also, one more thing before the disclaimer. This is strictly AU, which means that there's a high probability of the bending of various charries' histories. **

**Disclaimer: Artemis Fowl and Fullmetal Alchemist do not belong to me. They belong to Eion Colfer and Hiromu Arakawa respectively. I do not intend to make any profit from this fic, and I certainly do not claim anything besides various OCs and the basic plot as mine. Oh, and a few locations. It is AU after all. **

**Continue on...(seriously, sorry about that monster of an A/N. I like to ramble. A LOT)**

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><p><strong>Prelude<strong>

**Languish**

_Crematorium LEP Warfare Protection Institution, Lower Elements_

A plan. That was all he had.

The fairy authorities thought that he was broken. Why wouldn't they? From what they saw, he was someone who just sat there, staring into space, occasionally sitting cross-legged, barely eating and sleeping badly. A legend defeated by solitary confinement. An expert in the sentient mind, losing his.

The truth is, he was doing what he did best, all this while. He was observing. Thinking. _Planning. _He was a master of deception. He will not bend under silence. In fact, he _needed_ silence.

Soon, he would slip away right under their noses. Not yet, though. Not yet. Patience was a virtue he held close, and upheld. He could wait. A day, a week, a month, a year... what's the difference when the war that was above his head had been raging on for three long years?

_I will escape. As soon as I finish my little project._

He drew a piece of paper out of his pocket. No, not paper. A photograph. His index fingers traced the elfin features of the officer in the picture. A single moment, caught by a digital camera and frozen on the photo till time faded every last blot of ink from the paper. A familiar face that he missed ridiculously much. On the flip side of the card, written in her chunky gnomish handwriting, was the message on which he had based his entire plan.

_Don't give up. You'll always have friends on the outside._

_"Holly,"_ he said, fingering the symbols. His face, turned away from the surveillance cameras, bore his trademark vampire smirk. He was very, very close.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand here's another chapter of the brand new, super-popular…. Not. Oh well. Anyway, here it is. Be warned that I definitely am not a frequent updater. I hope I make it up by my writing… but it may be too much to hope for. **

**Disclaimer: Refer to Chapter 1 A/N**

* * *

><p><strong>Sighting<strong>

_Amestrian-Russian Border, Eastern Europe_

A general description of a desert is a dry, dusty, and generally inhabitable area. The Russian ice-fields fitted the criteria perfectly. Its windblown plains were freezing cold, and definitely not suitable for fairy residents.

There were, however, five hundred and three fairies of all species in this desert.

The leader happened to be the celebrated Major Forrest Juniper, one of the few females that got past Traffic and started to climb the ladder of LEP ranks. At least, it used to be LEP. All the police forces became twisted into an army, with Commander Trouble Kelp in charge of the now militaristic LEP. Even though it was an army instead of a police force, the Council had decided to keep the acronyms. And the ranks.

It had to be noted that Major General Juniper was extremely successful when it came to field work. Part of the reason was due to her belief that _**discipline**_, italicised, bolded, and captalised, was _**the only, one and only**_ way to raise an army. Her squadron was made up of two commanders, five majors, ten captains, their ten vice-captains, and four hundred and seventy five corporals- all slapped, punched, kicked, and generally bullied into living by the motto of _**discipline**_ in all caps, usually by Juniper herself. Those who survived the Romanesque training became just like Forrest Juniper herself- a tough, highly skilled, and street smart killing machine.

So, for her troops, it was no cause for alarm when cannons, bullets, and heavy artillery of all descriptions started flying towards their general direction. Without a single word from the leader, all five hundred or so fairies shielded and hovered to study the situation and the source of the shooting. This was easy, as there were shouts of, "Bloody Dracmans! Stay away from the border!" coming from ahead.

Juniper did not know what a Dracman was, and nor did she want to find out. Still, she swooped closer, on the risk of her wing rig falling apart in the gale, and studied the large grey… Fort? Wall?

Through her helmet visor(and quite a bit of the zoom function), she could see a woman clad in navy, perched on the highest point of the fort and yelling instructions to the soldiers at the foot of the fort, scanning the snowy fields for all traces of the 'Dracmans'. Her sword was visibly sheathed and tied to her waist, made more noticeable by her gloved fingers, which were hovering just above the hilt. Her long blond hair swirled around her in the frigid wind, revealing a pair of determined eyes, and a strong jaw set in a scowl. Juniper recognized the expression. It often featured on her own face.

"Boys, retreat!" she yelled, and studied her opponent once more before turning around and flying back.

Yes, she had certainly met her match.

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><p><strong>AN: It's really quite obvious as to who the woman in blue is. If you don't know her, either read up on FMA, or better yet, read the next chapter(when it's out). Also, I assure you that Juniper will not play a big part in the story. She's just... you know. **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Alright, let's begin, shall we? **

**Don't you just love that word, incognito? It carries a sort of **_**mystique. **_**I'm just weird like that. Speaking of weird, there are asterisks scattered liberally around the whole chapter. Those explained in the footnotes. **

**Anyway, this is when a lot of questions are answered, and yet more are raised. It is also where a lot of the FMA charries enter the scene...**

**Excited yet?**

**... No?**

**Disclaimer: Given the fact that my name isn't Hiromu Arakawa, nor Eoin Colfer, I suppose you know that I do not own **_**Fullmetal Alchemist**_** or **_**Artemis Fowl**_** and the characters and locations of either.**

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><p><strong>Incognito<strong>

_Central City, Amestris_

In the busy streets of Central, it was snowing. It wasn't out of the ordinary. It always snowed here in winter, albeit lightly. Artemis, hands buried deep into the pockets of his coat, scanned the news agency for any sign of open war being declared. It wasn't difficult, as it was all over the news: _Mass Unexplained Deaths across the East! Mystery of the Blue Lights! Is Xerxes* repeating itself?_

One month. He was surprised that it took them that long. There was no doubt that they were looking for him, but they were looking for Artemis Fowl the Second, not Captain S. Caypé. Escapee. He thought that it was fitting. It was exactly three weeks since he stumbled into the Eastern-most town of Amestris, Youswell**, after a grueling trip in the desert*** and got arrested by the local police force for being suspected of illegally entering the country. Of course, he managed to charm them into giving him a job.

Not.

The true reason why he had been given a post in the military was because of the rather suspicious event that happened shortly before his arrival. One of the borders' securities was attacking an army that disappeared straight after being discovered. Acting on his suspicions, and using their resources, he created a few high speed cameras that were to be installed on all borders. Soon after that, his suspicions were confirmed. It was, indeed, the fairies. However, the Amestrian military chose to keep this piece of information out of the hands of the public. Thus, the media only had a few sensationalist speculations on just what happened in the East, and why radio contact was broken an hour before everything there was found to be dead. Artemis was, quite frankly, surprised. The Council****, opting to use blue rinse before they have even managed to observe and gauge the potential of this country? He supposed that it was partly his fault, for creating cameras that let the military see fairies even when they(the fairies, not the military; Amestrians can do quite a lot, but they can't use magic) were shielded. That, combined with the fact that alchemy(the fabled art that turned lead into gold) was simply everywhere here, led the presumptuous Council to think that these are super-advanced Mud Men.

Gritting his teeth and trying not to show a trace of emotion, he mentally plotted the downfall of the new, corrupt Council. It was their stupid idea, the idea of the new board of Chairpeople*****, to invade the surface. The People... How could they believe these lies? The new Council was nothing like its predecessors. This was a violent Council. The thing that made Artemis truly want to kill them was the fact that, _Ark Sool_, of all people, was on it. It was really no wonder that this Council was being so irrational; knowing the fairy that was nicknamed the 'King of Red Tape'******, he would try his very best to overthrow the humans with any means necessary. What was surprising was that the People _let_ them. Wasn't the underground a democracy*******?

Apparently not. That was precisely how the power to Fowl Manor was cut, and how he found himself shipped to the Crematorium within one week of being extricated from his home. This was why he was given no reason for getting thrown into high security for seemingly no reason. Much to his frustration, not a single piece of information regarding what was happening in the Lower Elements, or the surface, was given to him.

Now, he wondered just where could he find the information. He desperately wanted to know what happened to Butler, or his family, but Amestris... well, it has to be said that they really had no idea what was going on outside the borders. It seemed strange that this places hasn't been discovered by humans or fairies******** but it was all about to end.

_The fairies were coming._

* * *

><p>"... Have openly declared war by releasing Solinium 2, a highly radioactive substance onto the East, causing numerous deaths..."<p>

Suddenly, the dozing figure in the backmost cubical********* straightened up and looked worried.

"Mustang? Did you say something about _numerous deaths in the East_?"

The Brigadier General, with a grim expression on his face, could only nod slowly. "Haven't you seen the papers, Fullmetal? Everyone in the East is _dead_."

"Dead...?"

Before this conversation could go on any further, the door to the Brigadier General's office opened. Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc, Warrant Officer Falman, Major Alex Louise Armstrong, and several other officers********** turned to look at it. Artemis, taking calm, even, strides, walked right up to his commanding officer and scowled. "I was under the impression that I was to explain this, in case you got some crucial facts wrong. Also, I have come up with a plausible theory for how you could have remained undetected for so long."

Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye rose to close the door. "Don't leave the door open. I understand that you are upset, but please, this is a private meeting."

The Irish prodigy-turned-military strategist*********** took a breath and started his explanations. "First, with the theory. I believe that on the day you called the 'Promised Day', you have somehow created a time-stop field."

This piece of information only earned him several confused looks. Artemis, shaking his head, explained what a time-stop was. Only _then_ the shocked looks he had been expecting came.

"Impossible. You said it involved magic, and we have none," Edward Elric, youngest State Alchemist in history was quick to point out.

"It is possible that the tremendous amount of energy you released on the day somehow converted itself into magic. I've never thought it would be possible, but I didn't know about alchemy before then. You probably escaped the time field by changing your state of consciousness while still within. Perhaps it happened during the soul removal. Everyone's state of consciousness changed simultaneously. In other words, you have skipped several decades in one day. It is nineteen twenty two this year here, isn't it? The incident happened a year ago. So, this year is actually twenty twelve. Ninety years. I've never witnessed a nationwide time stop before, but neither have I seen a nationwide transmutation circle."

The people in the room looked around dazedly. Time stood still for ninety years in this building, yet no one ever realized. Sure, some things fell apart, but everyone just assumed it was the Promised Day carnage. After all, the Briggs men and the Eastern Army did wreck quite a bit of havoc upon the city. No one ever suspected a thing.

"So, in terms of technology, we're ninety years behind?"

"Well, you could be considered advanced. You lack computers, the Internet, mobile telephones, nuclear weapons,.. the list goes on. But no, you are not ninety years behind in technology, in comparison with the fairies."

This earned a few relieved breaths. Artemis frowned harder. "I believe that, discounting alchemy, you are four point five three nine centuries behind. Your periodic table lacks a few actinides and lanthanides************ and other radioactive elements, and I doubt that you have much in the field of aviation or supersonic transport. I highly doubt you have anything that can protect against Neutrino beams, or DNA plasma cannons… scratch that, do you even know what is plasma?"

His reply was blank, confused stares, and looks of defeat. These grew more and more pronounced as Artemis began to outline the damage caused by Solinium 2 and generally, bio-bombing. He didn't want to see their faces when he talked about Hiroshima and Nagasaki************.

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><p><em>Footnotes: Where I explain they sketchy stuff, from either the cannon fandoms, or the parts I've altered to suit my purposes. Don't worry, no spoilers for the fic. Might contain spoilers for the whole of FMA or AF series.<em>

*Xerxes tragedy: In the FMA-verse, Xerxes was mysteriously destroyed in one night.

** Mining town, FMA-verse. Irrelevant for now.

*** The Great Desert, where he managed to escape from. More on the escape plan later. The desert is also known as the Mongolian desert in the rest of the world terms. Try not to fuss about geography too much; it is AU and, for all you know, Australia could be connected to Alaska and America to Africa in this strange made up world..

**** Council: The Fairy Council, governing body of the People. The People is the other name for the fairies.

***** Chairpeople: Politicians. More about them later.

****** Ark Sool: That nickname was taken from one of the AF books. I can't recall whether it as the Opal Incident or the Lost Colony.

******* I'm writing on the assumption that the Council is a democracy. The books gives minimal focus on the underground politics, unfortunately.

******** Amestris is not previously known to rest of the world. But now, the rest of the world is kinda screwed. More on that later.

********* I don't think Ed has a work cubical in cannon, or at least not in Mustang's office, but I'm giving him one here. Also, I may have expanded Mustang's office. It didn't look as big from the Brotherhood anime.

********** Listing them all is kinda tacky, but in case you wanted to know who else was in, it's Fuery, Breda, Hawkeye, Ross, Brosh, Olivier, and Miles. I'm not sure if Miles dies in cannon but my plot practically hinges on their fighting ability, so if he's dead, I brought him back to life. Olivier, in case you noticed, is in fact the person defending Briggs and shooting down Juniper's troops in the last chapter. She's here on Central duty, to meet and strategize; she was losing quite a lot of her people to Neutrino beams. If you want to know the setting, it's extra crispy.

*********** Yes, he's a military strategist now. He'd make an excellent strategist. More on that later.

************ Numbers 57 to 71 and 89 to 103 in the Periodic Table of the Elements. I'm assuming that they know only up to 66, and skipping to radium(88), missing 96 through to 103, etc. Just in case you were wondering, I decided this on random as it does not contribute to the plot at all.

************* That's post time stop, so they don't know about it yet.

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><p><strong>Wow, the asterisks are getting really long… maybe I should change it to numbers in the next chapter.<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: One little note I meant to make, but have forgotten. Since this is AU, I reserved the right to bring certain characters back from the dead. One of these characters is the elf with silver hair, aka Wing Commander Raine Vinyayá. I honestly don't know why I find her so... I don't know. It's just that I always felt a truly stupid urge to bring her back to life in practically every freaking fic I write.**

**Anyway, there's these flashbacks. Remember I mentioned several things that will be explained in the last chapter? Well, it is here!**

* * *

><p><strong>Caged<strong>

_Haven City, Lower Elements_**  
><strong>

_I realised right after Julius died. Ark Sool seized control of the LEP. I remembered working under him back when Julius, Briar(who was a good friend of ours at that time) and I were just rookies in Traffic. He was a Major, and a truly horrible one. We used to joke around, and he had the unofficial nickname of 'Zuchini'- skinny, unappetising, and bitter. We conspired with several other rookies to get him fired; after all, we were young, scarcely old enough to work. _

_The plot failed, but he left nevertheless. It wasn't because of us. It was because he had gotten a higher paying job within the Council. _

_At that time, I should have noticed something was up. A selfish gnome that only ever took the easy way out cannot get onto the government, because that will definitely cause a misuse of authority. He demonstrated that by attempting to arrest Holly Short during the Second Opal Incident. She was innocent. There was proof staring at us right in the face, but he brushed them away; it was only when Foaly and I threatened to make the irrefutable evidence available to the general public that he caved and testified against Opal. When I taught at the Academy, I wasn't technically supposed to have favourites, but Short was one of my favourite pupils. One of the reasons was her moral compass, her drive, her total lack of consideration for rank or wages; those were traits you didn't see often in the LEP. That kid had her heart in the right place. She just didn't have the ticket for the gravy train that many male students like Kelp held. The moment she crashed the shuttle in front of me, I decided that I will make a success out of her. I decided that she _will _make it past Traffic, and that she _will_ become a LEPrecon. She'd make a damn fine officer._

_I just didn't know that she'd make as fine a soldier as an officer. _

Raine Vinyayá stared at her ex-pupil, eyes clouded with sadness. The elder elf was no longer part of the LEP; she quit when it became militarised. Vinyayá fully expected Holly to do the same. To her horror, and outrage, not only that Holly didn't quit; she worked along with then, not protesting a least bit. It broke Vinyayá's heart to see her prized pupil become the brutally obedient puppet of the Council. It was beyond painful. Holly bore a strange expression. It was as though her face was quivering, as though it was about to crack.

Finally, Vinyayá stepped back, her face once again blank. "I'm disowning you, _Captain_ Short."

Holly felt stung at how her teacher had said her rank. It was as though the word was poisonous. It was the same tone which she herself had said 'Artemis Fowl' just about three years ago. The worst part was that she knew exactly why, but she was powerless. Yes, she could mover her limbs, and yes, she could open her mouth, but the Council has tied her hands and sealed her lips.

"I can't say anything. I can't. I'm truly sorry."

She was left standing on the path beside the magnastrip as her ex-superior hailed a tram towards North Haven Wing.

How can you tell someone that you're only part of the Surface Wars to protect someone else? Especially if the person used to be Public Enemy Number One?

_The worst part is,_ she thought, _that it came from someone I thought I could trust._

_I thought Trouble was just. He proved me wrong when he gave the order for Artemis to be arrested. Without trial._

Holly gritted her teeth. She had to stay strong. Artemis had promised her no more than three years. She could only hope that he was still alive. The anniversary was approaching. She fully intended to quit the moment it came.

"_I'll be out in three years, Holly. I make this promise as a friend. I will keep it whether we become friend or foe."_

_His face was so sincere. _

"_Three years. Exactly. No more. I will get out somehow."_

Holly had pondered those words, when she was wielding her Neutrino, when she are ambushing clueless soldiers, when she was secretly urging scared Mud Children to run…

She just hoped that he didn't choose the permanent way out of the Crematorium. Even though common sense tried to convince her of it. Even though that place boasted the best security on and under the world.

But only because he was Artemis.

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><p><strong>AN: Erm... Vinyayá behaving too much like Izumi?**


End file.
